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July 15th, 1pm

Thats the date, thats when my divorce will be. I of course knew it was coming and I am looking forward to having it over with but its jarring to see a date to know that this really is happening.

Its almost 7 months to the day after he told me that he was in love with someone else. Time has flown by but at times it has stood still. Can yall believe its been 7 months already? Craziness!

1 month and 1 week shy of our 5 year wedding anniversary, I feel rather blah that we didnt even make it that long.

It will be 1 week after my 28th birthday.

Mark your calendars for the weekend after.

What ever happened to common sense?

January 31, 2006 – Tuesday 8:18 PM

Are parents just dropping the ball or are some kids just born without a “think for yourself” part of their brains? This goes through my head all the time but it gets really bad when I look out the window. We live in a trailer park and we are surrounded by kids of all ages. I know when I was a kid I did some stupid things but I did have a few things that I just “knew better” than to do. For instance, when riding your bike you get the heck out of the way of approaching vehicles. Not the kids around here, nope. They will ride right at you until you have to stop….one little girl is particularly bad at it and insists that you stop and then signals when you can go by. They also run right out into the middle of the street, they don’t even care to look. I honestly don’t get it and sometimes….just sometimes….I don’t want to stop.


January 20, 2006 – Friday 10:51 PM

Why is it that when growing up in the little old town of Amarillo that all I wanted was to be out. I absolutely hated the oober conservative atmosphere where if you were the least bit “different” you were not welcomed. I hated it. I always wondered why the people that made it out were always coming back. Now all I want is to go back.

I moved in 2003 to Provo, Ut and wow was it a shocker. 98 percent of the population is Mormon. That means no smoking, no drinking, no drugs, no cussing, little to no carbonated drinks, you must live with people of the same sex, you have a curfew….these were some of the bigger things (pretty much opposite of my previous self). It was an interesting experience and one that I would never take back but I dont think I could ever raise my children there.

Now we live in Lubbock, not all that far from Amarillo but I still feels like its a 14 hour drive sometimes. I have yet to find a like minded or even a minded person in this city (at least not one with boobs). Now I find myself wanting to go back “home” because that is where I belong. I realize now after years and years of wanting to “get out” that maybe its not such a bad place after all.

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