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I dont love you

Stings huh? Especially when its from your childs mouth.

So Ian went to Jasons this weekend, something that I wasnt terribly happy about anyways. I dont think Jasons whorefriend should be graced with the presence of my children but its not up to me.

So Saturday I am feeding Hope and decide to call Jason to see how Ian did. One of the first things out of his mouth was that he didnt love me and that he didnt love Hope. To make everything even more peachy I hear whorefriend and Jason both laugh, not correct him but laugh. Joy.

After a bit Jason got back on the phone and asked about Hope. Never once has he asked about her. I guess he needs to keep up with his fake upstanding fatherhood when around his whorefriend and in order to do that he has to ask about his daughter…you know, the one I was pregnant with when him and whorefriend got together.

So I said shes fine, pulling up, saying mama, baba and occasionally Boone. He asked, right?

Then I got off the phone, took Hope in my bedroom with Boone and just cried. I dont want to hear Ian say he doesnt love me, even if he really doesnt mean it. I REALLY dont want to hear ANYONE snicker about it when he does. That right there tells you what type of people I get to deal with.

So today Ian comes home, the first thing out of his mouth is that he doesnt love me. That shit doesnt fly with me and I corrected him all while Jasons mother came up with excuse after excuse. You know, I really dont care that he told such and such that he doesnt love them. I correct him when he does it in my presence but they are not his mother, they arent the ones scrapping by emotionally because of what her piece of shit son did.

So they left and Ian came and sat in my lap and we talked. I went over how its not nice to say that he doesnt love someone. That its makes them sad, do you like it when you are sad? The stuff any sane adult would do in the situation.


The weekend was so lazy. Boone and I really didnt do a thing. Lounged around and talked for the most part. When we finally did roll out of bed on Saturday night we went to Malcolms for some dinner and while there Ang and Karen texted us to come to the bar.

We literally rolled out of bed and threw on clothes, I didnt even brush my hair, no makeup and wore ripped up jeans but hey, who cares? We said we would leave my midnight but other stuff happened and we stayed there till almost closing. Not a biggie though, I enjoyed myself.

All in all it was a wonderful weekend. Amazing highs and low lows but thankfully I have people around me that constantly reassure me and its nice.

Tomorrow I start school.

Here is to new beginnings…

I start school tomorrow too! Woot!

Ian wouldn’t let Sarah take him out of the car seat, tried to punch her, didn’t want to be in the house and told her to leave because it’s his house and she’s not welcome. That was before he went to Lubbock, but don’t take that as me blaming you or making excuses for what he said or anything. To be honest, we both were hoping he’d treat “whorefriend” just as good and that made us laugh. Hey, a guy can dream, right?

So…what’re you taking?

Posted by Matt on August 24, 2008 – Sunday – 10:50 PM
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i’m sorry, juli. that really stinks that it happened.
Posted by sarah on August 24, 2008 – Sunday – 11:32 PM
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Always Màthair

Sue Dooley
It is obvious that someone planted the idea in his little head. Does he truly understand the concept of what love is? That is the seed that needs to be planted. I will always love you, even when you say you don’t love me, because you are of my body and of my heart and soul. You are my blood and nothing will ever change that…
Having to switch trains like that has got to be hard on kids, and they only know what they are told and are so innocent because they don’t have life’s lessons to guide their heart and understanding.
They become confused in what role they play, or should play, and where is home anyhow?
Them laughing as they heard him say it to you is horrific to me and instigated! No one should have to deal with that game! Especially the innocent ones who don’t know better!
It is evil and so damaging!
Do your best to teach him what love is. Find some books his level that you can read to him so he can learn to understand. Take him on walks and show him the small things that are wonders in this world, the bugs, the flowers, monkeys at the zoo. Be creative to get his attention, like seeing the monkeys hug and groom each other, and explaining that they show their love by that. Any babies with their mothers is an easy one.
Keep your heart well, I don’t know what you are taking in school, but don’t let your focus go to the problems you are working around, you know what that will do!
It will be ok mom, your love can cover all things that attack you! Remember that!
Good luck in school old lady!
God bless
Posted by Always Màthair on August 25, 2008 – Monday – 11:51 AM
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Sara Graves- Martinez
that sux about ian =[….

what are you taking? lemme know how your first day went… that is if you have time

you are a busy school girl now=]=]=]

Posted by ?SaRaMiChElLe?™ on August 25, 2008 – Monday – 1:10 PM
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