May 26th, 2011
I intended to leave my life’s dramas behind when I hopped on that plane to Portland. I suppose you cant escape yourself, you’ll always be along for the ride.
But my intentions were to heal, to meet new people, to go new places and to leave the past in the past.
For the most part I did, their were those long car rides where things would come back, I would stare out the window at the most beautiful land I have ever seen and tear up. 5 months into the year and I must say I have never had so many ups and downs in such a short period.
Thus far my 2011 can best be described as bipolar. Extreme highs followed by extreme lows followed by highs again, middle ground just hasn’t happened for me in a good long while. I’m doing much better then before but its still a constant inner battle, its inner because I know everyone around me is just plain tired of hearing it.
So what do I do to cope? On a whim go visit a friend, travel 1,665 miles, visit 3 different states (add 2 to that if ya wanna count the layovers, ha), take lots of pictures, do lots of talking, see parts of the country I never dreamt I would see, get a new tattoo…I could go on and on.
It was most certainly healing but the moment the plane touched down in Amarillo it all came rushing back to me, I escaped but only for a few days. I’m at least dusted off and I am ready to start “over” again.
Just press forward.
Stop looking back, you’ll miss what’s right in front of you if you do.
Those are all things that I say to myself on a constant basis. It’s working, just not as fast as I would like it to. 😉