Story About A Girl

I am glad I am back in school (with people I enjoy being around). I love my job but there is something to be said about being in a classroom full of people that are so innocent. When trivial things such as clothing and fake tattoos are the talk of the room. If *only* things were still that simple for me. Ha. I love hearing the kids say they dont have time for the homework, I would trade them places for a day so they really know what “dont have time” means.

But then again at 15 and up until 22 I was rather irresponsible with my choices. But it shaped who I am today, just like from 28 and on…I realize I am still young. :p

So yesterday I moved the rooms around and when I laid in bed last night it hit me. The bed was in the *exact* position it was when Jason left me. And so I laid there, wallowing in my singleness and eventually pulled myself out of it. All I have to do is remember how much I have grown, how much I have accomplished since we split. And yup, I am still proud of myself.

I also did a little shopping today…7 new shirts. lol I have a bigger closet now so why not fill it? ha

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So I have a lot of crap to do in a short amount of time. And with this thinking comes cheap burgers from McDonalds. Our McDonalds has 2 drive through lines but we all pay and pick up at the same windows. So I always do line two, its faster. I pull in and order but being 5 oclock it was pack and once I finished with my order I still couldnt move. Then a minute or so later the lady next to me finishes her order. She is line 1 which could pull in front of line two…that is unless blocked. I knew I was next so I didnt let her pull in, it was obvious to everyone around I was next. So she lays on her horn and starts screaming at me (my windows were up). I mean, even *if* I had accidentally pulled in front of her what could I do? Reverse into the vehicle in back of me.

So I pull up to the window, 2.58 is my total. I hand the lady my 3 bucks then ever so nicely flip the lady off behind me. Ha.

Then I get my food. Pull out of the lot and up to the light. She pulls up next to me, half hanging out the window yelling obscenities with money in her hand.

She appeared lonely so I blew her a couple of kisses and winked at her. She STILL wasnt satisfied so I did the whole two finger, tongue between wagging back and forth measure. She still wasnt happy, poor little soccer mom in her big ass vehicle.

She pulled forward to the guy in front of me (who was also in front of me at McDonalds) and starts yelling at him, presuming it was about me. He looked flabbergasted.

So THANK YOU dear crazed soccer mom. You made my day! I had tears running down my face after that.

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So Ian’s school seems to be going really well. He also starts soccer practice on Friday and I am sure he will love it.

Yesterday I needed to buy books for some classes and get some groceries. Mom kept Hope for me while Ian and I went running around. By the time I got back she had cut Hopes hair. Yes, it was in her eyes but I needed it to grow out so I could get (train) her part to move. So that pissed me off. She has this thing with taking over *my* place (like claiming Ian as hers, ugh) and disregarding my parenting. Whatever.

So the kids needed baths and we gather in the bathroom. Ian takes off his short and there and behold was his sticker from the dentist (like a 3×3 in sticker) on his leg. He has slept in it and then went to school with it, over 24 hours of sticker and it wasnt coming off. So he had to soak in the tub and scrub, its still a little irritated. Ha.

The kids ended up going to sleep later because Ian and I were running around and boy is it obvious today. And to make matters worse Ian could not stop coughing last night so at 2am I gave him so benadryl and of course at 7 he was still rather tired.

The 14th is his appointment with Dr Hale to talk about getting his tonsils out, I really hope the approves and can get them out. As it is he is sick with tonsillitis about every other month. NOT fun.

And with that I am off. I wish I could be funny and witty like I was last year when it came to blogs.

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Its my “babys” first day of kindergarten. I know he will do wonderful, he loves learning. I do kind of fear he will be to ahead and get bored though, he does turn into a turd when asked to do something that he already knows inside and out (like write his name).

Things are going to change a little around here in the next month. My *hope* is that Jason will watch the kids over labour day weekend so Ang and I can go to Dallas. Besides the usual I plan on getting new beds and bedding for the kids. The newest thing being a big girl bed for Hope. I think she is ready to move into a bed and I fear her climbing out (again). And plus I fell in love with the mammut collection a few years ago. http://www.ikea.com/us/en/search/?query=mammut

So Ian will get a blue bed and Hope a pink one. Yay.

And I am moving Hope and all the toys to the front bedroom and Ian and I minus the toys but add all the dressers (all clothes in my room makes more sense since I pick out everyones clothing for the next day the night before) to the back bedroom. Maybe then I can finally get him out of pull ups at night. I refuse to wake up Hope at night if Ian has an accident in the middle of the night. I can deal with waking up in the middle of the night, do it all the time, but I dont want to wake her up.

I think it will work out okay and hopefully next year at this time we will be ready to move into a three bedroom. 🙂

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Earlier today I took a stroll through my blogs from last August. Ha, how much things have changed. I have been officially single for 4 months today and yesterday would have been Jason and I’s 6 year anniversary. And two years ago around this time I was 29 or some odd weeks pg and freaking out over pre-e again (and “happily” married). lol. Its absolutely amazing how much has changed and yet I am okay, better now then ever.

Friday was my last day of counseling. Amazingly, I have been sane, not disgustingly depressed, great with the kids and all in all together since Boone and I broke up. I think focusing on me (and the kids) and only me is a huge help.

So tomorrow is a whole new beginning. Should be interesting…oh and the kids have dentist appointments. Its my first day of school too, but same ole faces and same rooms. My only complaint with that is finding a parking spot.

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It seemed much longer then it did years ago. And it was white, bright white, no carpet, no tan colored bricks, no leaking ceiling. “Go to the little gym” she said. I said okay and headed that way, the little gym, I know where that is. And I entered, it was familiar but not, it was bigger. Walls had been knocked down for actual seating, ha. After learning that I had a few minutes to waste I took a walk and yes, got a little teary eyed. I walked down halls that I had walked many times before, walked past the chemistry lab that we had caught on fire. The choir room that I had a faint memory of. Then on to the yearbook room that had boarded windows for years, boards are of course no longer there. Then past Mr. Herring’s old room, and that English teachers room that people dreaded. Past the principal’s office, up the stairs I had tripped over a few times. Then past the outside door to the portables where us girls once frolicked in the snow. Past Ms. Patton’s.  Then the end of the hall, the ramp down to the cafeteria was gone. And the windows that were once knocked out by friends were now sealed. No more hallway up to the shop, I think it now ends at where Ms. Barnes old room was, remember those over priced cookies? Ha.

So I turned around and took at turn at the hallway with the library. It was still there, not near as many books though. Across from that, remember the little area with trees and grass? Yeah that one, it looks like crap now. I made it to the end of that hall and made my way towards the band room. Carpets gone, now its just tiled floor and white walls. It looked the pretty much the same, I could see myself in that room. I suppose its where I spent a good deal of time. I wandered through the doors to see if the auditorium looked like. It hadnt been touched, it was tore up. Its a shame too. Walked down the aisle and turned to looked at the stage, I remember all the plays and concerts like yesterday.

Then I circled back around to the little gym, told Chris about what all had changed and how weird it was for me to be there. It was so freaking weird, its like part of my past, my so familiar past was just up and moved around. It was a stroll through memory lane that I needed. Even though it was completely different I could still see the halls crowded with people from years ago, I was a teenager again.

Chris took pictures of the staff while I wrote down all their names and positions, and a hand full are still there. We packed up and went across to the new high school to drop off some proofs. Walked down the hallway where all their panels are hung on the wall. Maybe it was because I have made the darn things, I dont know, but it was awesome seeing all the previous years seniors. We walked to the 98 panel and I pointed myself out, Chris said I looked different. Well yeah, its amazing what a marriage, 2 kids, a divorce and a heaping spoonful of depression can do to you. 11 years ago I never would have imagined my life as it is now.

So yeah, that was my day. It was cool. I took some picture with my phone…see….

The door at the end of the little gym is the door to the band room. The old room where debate was is no longer.

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If I had the time that I had last year I could sit here daily and babble on about the innards of my head but alas I dont.

But these past two weeks have been particularly frustrating, its like every.bit.of.paperwork is due at the same time. And then to top that off I stuck my nose into something with Jason that I shouldnt have but I did and made it a little harder for him (and not the the way I was aiming). Him being frustrated with me led to him dropping the kids off 3 hours early on his last weekend here. The kids, especially Ian, has had a hard time since. He knows when mommy and daddy arent getting along and therefore he takes it out on everyone.

Top it off that I became seriously sick last week. One of the worest bladder infections the doctor had seen, I wont go into details of course but it was NOT pretty at all. I ended up missing 2 days of school, and in summer that equates to about 2 weeks. So I was screwed with that. My emotions were everywhere and to sum it up nicely I was a raging bitch.

The kids last day of daycare at their old place was last Thursday, Friday the started at the new one. When we went to go get them (dad and I cause I couldnt drive) I learned that Ian had bit twice at school. Thats not normal behavior for him but like I said, hes a bit of a hellion when he knows Jason and I are “fighting”.

Thankfully Jason had a chance to come up yesterday (he was sick too) and help me with the my math and the kids got to see him, plus and plus.

So today rolls around, didnt get much sleep lastnight because we were up late but I still felt wonderful. I got my homework done and it hammered out with Jason. So I headed to school, then work to have my boss sign something for me, then to ccms (they help with the daycare) then back to school, then work for the day.

I was happily going along until my stupid ccms worker calls. She tells me that the daycare (the old one) told her that the kids were no longer there. I said yes, I had spoken to her a week before they moved and she said to get all my fees paid (which kristen told me it was 131 +25) by the 5th. On the 6th she would call and make sure I had paid, then she would call and move the kids to the new place.

She informed me that no, she wouldnt have told me that (yup, I am that good at just making shit up apparently) and that I should have called and said I had paid and then she would move them over.

I told her I paid, I paid the director with a check the with exact amount she told me. She said she would call and comfirm.

So a couple minutes later she calls back and kind of gleefully tells me that she wont move the kids over until I pay my balance at the daycare. I said what balance, she says…wait for it people….4 dollars. I.was.livid. I asked who she talked to, she said who, I said I spoke with Kristen and paid what I was supposed to. She again told me that thats why I should have called and said I had paid. I again told her that if she would have told me to call I would have called but since she didnt tell me to call, just to make sure and pay I DIDNT CALL. OMG I was furious, can you tell?

So I hand up, call the daycare, talk to kristen. Tell her that I paid what she told me to pay and now all of a sudden I owe 4 more dollars. So she says to call the lady back and tell her that I paid over the phone. Serioulsy, is it that much of a jump for Kristen to look (or hell remember) that I paid the balance that she told me and to just okay it with the ccms worker? Or is it to much of a jump for the ccms worker to realize that I am not talking out of my ass and did what she requested of me?

I have no choice but to get help with daycare, the bill would be 750 a month which is a whole lot more then I can afford. But my goodness the hoops I have to jump through are rediculous. Did I mention that she refuses to except my work as an actual job because I dont get paycheck stubs? I guess my jobs just imaginary since its a local small business. Ugh, double ugh.

My final is this week, I need to study, get the thing done and over with. The house looks like a tornado went through it, laundry everywhere even though most of its clean. lol I have an outfit to shop for for a wedding and to clean, clean, clean this house. Its amazing how being out for almost a weeks turns everything upside down.

Looking forward to the upside week.

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