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I really need to start updating this again

And that might just happen since I figured out how to add new posts via my phone.

So anywho, its been a while. I have lived in the new house 3 months now and I love every minute of it. It took a bit of adjusting but I dont just sit on the couch and cry for no reason anymore. Thats rather nice. I am working on sorting everything from the old house and putting it in storage, that is a rather large task. But still, here is to new beginnings.

Ians doing better, I think this last round of medicine redo will probably be the final one. We also found out that he is allergic to all sorts of foods and once we realized this it was a major ah ha moment. Beef, turkey, pork and vanilla to name a few. lol But again, answers, we needed answers and we finally have some.

Ian missed a month and a half of school this year but still managed to get promoted into 1st grade. 🙂 Poor kid, so much crap has happened in the last 3 years but I think he is dealing with it pretty well.

Hope is being Hope. She is 2 and she is just like me. <3

I am turning 30 next month and its getting to me. And not in the “I am old” sense but in the I remember dads 30th birthday sense. I thought that was soooo old when I was 8. We are so partying it up though, 80s white trash style.

I lost my job at the tale end of last month. Lets just say, wheew…what a relief. Aside from the minor “oh crap” freak outs I am pretty much okay with it. I needed another job anyways. Terribly bored though.

Its even been well past a year now since being single and again, wheew, what a relief. Boone, one of the sweetest guys you could probably ever meet and I do miss him sometimes. But also, Boone, one of the biggest assholes you could probably ever meet and I DONT miss that side. I actually hate when we cross paths (which is very very rare) because I dont want to see the “bad” side, no one does. We were just on two total planets and whether or not he would ever admit to having loved me I can honestly say I loved him. I am glad that chapter of my past is closed and thats the last I plan to ever speak of it again.

Jason and I are still doing pretty good. I really wish he would get himself out of his pickle (or as he says, his black hole). I know he got himself into it and all but it doesnt exactly make it easy. The bitchy part of me wants he dumped and heartbroken like I was the realistic part of me just wants him to do some freaking growing and I know he cant do that with anyone attached.

Well that was random. I am not feel particularly anything at the moment but did figure out my phone app, yay. Man I miss these blogs.

Ian and his T&A

So today we finally had Ians appointment with a ear, nose and throat dr. And in a matter of minutes we learned that Ian really was having a hard time hearing and that his tonsils really are huge. So his appointment is on the 27, 13 short days. I am nervous but its for the best. I did have to giggle though when reading the papers about it. T&A all over it……..giggle.

Not much has changed around here. I am staying busy which is probably a damn good thing. October is a hard month for me. Its the month that, 2 years ago, I realized something wasnt right. Funny thing, the 27th will mark the 2 year anniversary of Jason leaving me (the first time), 37 week pregnant. My life was so different then, I was such a different person. Well I suppose I was always myself but I certainly lost the part that made me ME.

And in a matter of a week and change I will have been single for 6 months. 6 months people, thats a huge milestone for me. Its something that I go back and forth on actually. My relationship after my divorce was all over the place and therefore I was all over the place. But since that ended I have been a-okay. Its funny how someone elses stresses can bring you so far down. Its been freeing to say the least. But I still miss Boone, in a friendship sorta way but it seems friendship just wont ever be.

So most of the time I am okay with just me and the kids but occasionally I am just plain lonely. I suppose I am at that lonely stage right now. :/

Which brings me to a funny. Poor Jason, I drug him through so much crap. Seriously people dont know the half of it. He babbied me in every way possible and one of those ways would be rubbing my back at night to go to sleep. I am sure he is more then happy to no longer have to deal with that…well now I do. lol. Ian wont go to sleep until I rub his back. I know when I tell Jason this he will chuckle.

And with that I am out for the night.

< insert something witty here/>

Ian had a fantastic week at school. He was a bit of a turd for me in the mornings and at night though. He just didnt want to go to sleep, which is a chain reaction. If he doesnt get enough sleep then the next day is hard. How do you walk away from a kid when all he wants is you. Momma I love you. Momma I just want to spend all day with you, etc. Its hearwarming and sweet and a good reminder that I am doing at least something right.

Hoping soccer game goes smoothly tomorrow. Last Sunday he was just so exhausted. But he says me cheering him on helps. 😀

My week was meh, juggling school, work and kids is rather challenging. Just when I get my head above the water more comes flooding in. Ians new favorite book (aside from Chicka Chicka Boom Boom) is Where the Wild things are. He loves it. We read and talk every night before bed and he colors a picture for me.

I got a ps3 the other day. You know how when you get new things its fun, you plug it all in, read all about it, go through all the menus…its fun, right? Not so much for me. Of course random things happen that remind me that I am indeed divorced and yes the ps3 did that to me. A month or so before Jason and I split I bought a ps3. Plugged it all in, read all about it, registered all the things and set it all up. It was fun then, not so fun the second time around. lol

I am enjoying this little big planet game, its frustrating the little toe nail out of me though. ha

Tomorrow me dad and Ian are heading to the fair. I would say thats an awesome reward for being so awesome at school. 😀

Hope, Ian and Exit the cat

Hope, Ian and Exit the cat

Hope likes to wear my shoes (pay no attention to the launder piled that need to be folded)

Hope likes to wear my shoes (pay no attention to the laundry piled that need to be folded)


So this weekend flew by super fast. Where did Saturday go?

It was Jasons weekend and Ians first game weekend. He kept trying to throw in the towel and I will be honest, a couple of times I wanted to as well. I ended up spending a good portion of the weekend with Jason. Which is always nice but at the same time weird. I think we parent much better divorced then when we were married.

Poor Ian, after the game yesterday he was so tired. Like tantrum throwing crazy child tired. But he had a couple hours to nap, then we had dinner and we finished off the night with a nice game of payday.

Jasons girlfriend, or whatever the heck she is (this is the one that he had an affair with) really just doesnt want Jason and I spending time together. Which I find rather humorous. Like what do you expect when you invade a marriage while wife is pg with number two? You expect the parents to just not see each other? Snort.

I guess she asked if he would see me at practice and then had the nerve to question if I would be at the game. Gus what an idiot. I suppose its a good thing she cant have kids. She seems so disconnected from life, I feel sorry for her at times.

But I love just knowing that she is stirring and probably doubting Jasons moves when it comes to me. Insert evil laugh here….

Anywho, me and the kids came come. Got them right in the tub and Hope went right to sleep again. She didnt even want a kiss she just crawled in bed and rolled right over. Then Ian and I watched the Chicka Chicka boom boom youtube video. Man he loves that book. Then he drew his nightly picture, we read “Where the wild things are” and I tucked him in as well.

So tomorrow is Monday and I have no doubt that he will be good at school. He feeds off of positive encouragement (who doesnt?) and I have been doing tons of it. And he loves his chart, its a nice visual which is something he needs.

This is just starting to be a ramble now so I will end it now on an up note. I am so happy for what I have, the families I have and the friends I have. I am loving it up right now.

Ians not doing to well at school

At this point I am beyond frustrated and thinking that me in school and working and Ian in school might be overload. He keeps acting up at school, not wanting to listen and hitting other kids. I am going to go ahead and blame myself for that. My parenting hasnt been the worlds best the last month.

So tonight we went over what all had been happening. Made a chart for him, etc. So from now on every night he will draw a picture of what happened that day. I have tried everything that I know to try. Taking away toys doesnt really work, all he wants to do when he gets home is sit and talk to me and to read. I cant take that away from him, duh.

So I am hoping that his drawing and then telling me about it will help. Im not a disconnected mom that just doesnt give a damn but part of me thinks that the teacher thinks that what I am. He is just having a hard time adjusting, he doesnt do well with change at all.

This weekend he was so upset because I was moving things around. Even simple stuff like that and he freaks.

I am also getting him the hands are not for hitting book (and the others in the series). Here is to hoping that this works and tomorrow is a better day.

Way to much to do in so little time

So Ian’s school seems to be going really well. He also starts soccer practice on Friday and I am sure he will love it.

Yesterday I needed to buy books for some classes and get some groceries. Mom kept Hope for me while Ian and I went running around. By the time I got back she had cut Hopes hair. Yes, it was in her eyes but I needed it to grow out so I could get (train) her part to move. So that pissed me off. She has this thing with taking over *my* place (like claiming Ian as hers, ugh) and disregarding my parenting. Whatever.

So the kids needed baths and we gather in the bathroom. Ian takes off his short and there and behold was his sticker from the dentist (like a 3×3 in sticker) on his leg. He has slept in it and then went to school with it, over 24 hours of sticker and it wasnt coming off. So he had to soak in the tub and scrub, its still a little irritated. Ha.

The kids ended up going to sleep later because Ian and I were running around and boy is it obvious today. And to make matters worse Ian could not stop coughing last night so at 2am I gave him so benadryl and of course at 7 he was still rather tired.

The 14th is his appointment with Dr Hale to talk about getting his tonsils out, I really hope the approves and can get them out. As it is he is sick with tonsillitis about every other month. NOT fun.

And with that I am off. I wish I could be funny and witty like I was last year when it came to blogs.

Tomorrow is a big day

Its my “babys” first day of kindergarten. I know he will do wonderful, he loves learning. I do kind of fear he will be to ahead and get bored though, he does turn into a turd when asked to do something that he already knows inside and out (like write his name).

Things are going to change a little around here in the next month. My *hope* is that Jason will watch the kids over labour day weekend so Ang and I can go to Dallas. Besides the usual I plan on getting new beds and bedding for the kids. The newest thing being a big girl bed for Hope. I think she is ready to move into a bed and I fear her climbing out (again). And plus I fell in love with the mammut collection a few years ago. http://www.ikea.com/us/en/search/?query=mammut

So Ian will get a blue bed and Hope a pink one. Yay.

And I am moving Hope and all the toys to the front bedroom and Ian and I minus the toys but add all the dressers (all clothes in my room makes more sense since I pick out everyones clothing for the next day the night before) to the back bedroom. Maybe then I can finally get him out of pull ups at night. I refuse to wake up Hope at night if Ian has an accident in the middle of the night. I can deal with waking up in the middle of the night, do it all the time, but I dont want to wake her up.

I think it will work out okay and hopefully next year at this time we will be ready to move into a three bedroom. 🙂


Earlier today I took a stroll through my blogs from last August. Ha, how much things have changed. I have been officially single for 4 months today and yesterday would have been Jason and I’s 6 year anniversary. And two years ago around this time I was 29 or some odd weeks pg and freaking out over pre-e again (and “happily” married). lol. Its absolutely amazing how much has changed and yet I am okay, better now then ever.

Friday was my last day of counseling. Amazingly, I have been sane, not disgustingly depressed, great with the kids and all in all together since Boone and I broke up. I think focusing on me (and the kids) and only me is a huge help.

So tomorrow is a whole new beginning. Should be interesting…oh and the kids have dentist appointments. Its my first day of school too, but same ole faces and same rooms. My only complaint with that is finding a parking spot.

Multiple times a day,

I think to myself a new blog. Unfortunatly I never type it up. Last January I got this url and server space intending to move my myspace blogs over. Occasionally I would work on it but after moving a few blogs over I became tired of it. I stopped blogging cause I didnt want to move even more blogs from myspace to here. I didnt post them here because I didnt want to link to the site until I had all the blogs moved over. lol. Now they are all moved. woot!

I have been going to counciling for a little over 3 months now (I think) and its helped tremendously. So much so that now I just go every 4 weeks. I have learned to better deal with the everything. Learned that its okay to be sad, to mourn, to be angry etc. I need to allow myself those feelings, for said amount of time and then move on. It was the moving on that I had a problem with.

So the 23rd will mark my 3 month single anniversary. Its a big thing for me, longest I have ever been single. And its nice, lonley at spurts but a whole lot easier on my nerves.

I am going to school in the summer, summer I was math and History II and Summer II (now) is just a math class. Also working part time with awesome people doing stuff I love. Kids are doing great (well except Ians sick again). Hopes saying new words every day and insists on her hair being done. Ians busy coloring/crafting and talk talk talking up a storm.

We have officially gotten things under control. Same routines, etc. Jason and I are doing fantastic, our co-parenting is something I think we should both be very proud of. It certainly reflects in the kids.

After reposting all the blogs I realized how much I love it and I am a little sad that I havent been doing them for the last 6 months. But from here on out I am aiming for at least weekly.

The sites not prettied up, I seem to have forgotten a great deal of my coding skills but I have a rough idea of what I want. My myspace blogs were half butt moved over so even though a comment box appears you cant leave a comment. Go down to the actual comment link for wordpress.

And lastly,

welcome to Story About A Girl!

Death happens

Death or serious injury happens on either side of the debate but why is it only a big deal when I am going against the money making grain. Why do I have to sign something saying that I am risking my childs life by *not* injecting formaldehyde, and thimerosal into them. Does that make sense to you? And no, I dont take hugs from every person that comes along. Actually, dont fucking touch me if I dont know you and certainly dont hug my kids.

But the good news is that apparently not every medicaid taking doctor around here isnt an idiot and I actually, finally, found the kids a doctor that recognizes that some parents actually do do research and know whats being put into their bodies (and thats both sides of the issue here). Just bring in their exemptions….just bring in their exemptions….faint, thats the fast way to my heart. The way to get me running the other way is to inform me that I am risking my kids life but of course vaccinations are always 100 percent safe AND effective…snort.

Its like I switch over to Charlie Brown mode, wa wa wa wa waaaaa when someone starts on the spiel. Hopefully the next convo I will have with someone will be why c sections are so necessary.

Blarg, I have gone off on a rant again. Sorry. Feeling better though. I start therapy on the 6th.

Always Màthair

Sue Dooley
I’m with you, question everything! The majority just go along with what the docs and drug companies say…and don’t get me started on c sections!!! I honestly believe that if they had left Jennifer alone, not started her on that toxin, and then decided oh, well, the baby won’t drop so… I think her baby would still be alive! SIDS? ya, what ever!
Posted by Always Màthair on March 31, 2009 – Tuesday – 8:38 PM
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Always Màthair

Sue Dooley

have fun in therapy!

Posted by Always Màthair on March 31, 2009 – Tuesday – 8:38 PM
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Sara Graves- Martinez
Posted by ?SaRaMiChElLe?™ on April 1, 2009 – Wednesday – 8:21 AM


This sickness thing sucks, I am over it but Ians still battling it and Hope got sent home today with a temp over 102 (and its still high after tylenol).


Ian has been a huge tyrant, not his usual self at all. He has his stubborn moments but this was different. Well after sitting in lecture today going through what could be different, it occurred to me that I started him back on his pulmicort to help with the cough.

And then I remembered that it was a steroid. Ugh again and well…duh.

Look at this
Side Effects

Yikes. I am normally very good at looking at anything that goes into him but his poor cough was so bad that I just jumped at that solution.

Lesson learned I suppose. Hopefully I will have my sane, sweet child back soon.

Hopes officially walking now and its super cute. I knew she would get it down but in her own time. Ians doing awesome with reading too.

Finally caught up with everything (minus a test). Here are a few of my last projects. One was for type, had to do a visual hierarchy project using body copy, letter form (so pick a letter, any letter) and a headline. It was a fun project….here are some pics. BAD quality though, the originals are 8×8 so shrunk down you miss a lot.


And here is my newest Ad for a clothing store for digital publishing. I had the headline “The best” to work with, had to fill in the rest. The body copy was set for me. Had to make the logo (the NewWear at the bottom) as well.
Click for a better view, the actual size is close to 11×12 and its no where close to a high quality save since that would take forever to load.

Next type project is a collage not using the computer to set type (in other words we have to cut/trace/scan etc. print from random sources). The theme is Love Me, Hate Me, Want Me. Figure its perfect timing and should be able to think of something.

Next Digital publishing project is an interactive card. I am going with the kids fortune telling origami inspired wedding invitation. Really looking forward to that.

Thats it for now.

Peace, love and hippos.


Sara Graves- Martinez
wow, those are crazy side effects! great graphics though =] [or whatever the computer lingo is] they are super cool! good stuff…
Posted by ?SaRaMiChElLe?™ on March 4, 2009 – Wednesday – 10:47 PM
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Its been a while

Today was packed full of stuff to do which was good because I needed my mind to be occupied. Anywho, the morning did not start to well. It would be amazing if I could not get insulted/talked down to constantly from my dad but you would think after 28 plus years I would be used to it.

To start, Ians been doing this “I will only eat what I want to eat faze”  thus not eating at daycare. But the thing is is that he eats the same stuff here, the only difference is that I usually dont eat with the kids so he gets to choose what he wants to eat.

I ask him why…
Because the apple had skin and he doesnt like skin.
Because the apple was red and not green.
Because the juice was in a white cup not a green cup.

Seriously. Spoiled, I know and I can clearly see that. But, BUT my dads answer is to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day and take it with him. But then finishes the sentence with “you should really get him to eat more stuff”. But if I point out his bad logic he has to insult me and well…Jason.

I am probably the pickest eater that anyone knows and it sucks and I HATE that part about me. I have tried the new foods thing and it did not work at all. Something about 23 years before eating something besides a grilled cheese that put a mental mind block out. I dont want my kids to go down that path and up until a couple weeks ago he ate anything put in front of him.

I know the food hasnt changed at daycare, its just that he is being a stubborn brat.

My solution, if he doesnt eat/drink at school then fine, whatever. But at home I will fix what I want to make for him and if he doesnt eat then he doesnt eat. He will eat eventually and has already made a bit of progress.

When I told my dad that he flew off the handle. I explained my reasoning but he didnt care, its all about the dammed pb&j on a daily basis. That will fix the problem, yeah right.

Then, because I guess he didnt think he had insulted me enough he had to note that he has never met another 30 pound 5 year old. I said that he should have met Jason at 5 and he said he wished he had never met him at all…right in front of Ian. :/

Funny though, he has always eaten well and yet been the same weight but now all of a sudden its a problem.


So I called Jason just to make sure I wasnt crazy and he agreed with me and thats all that matters.

<./ vent >

So Ian and I went shopping today for some little things all over town. Got him a cool new toothbrush holder that has a little sand timer on it as well as new toothpaste, etc. Also got a new laptop bag for my new laptop that will be here on tuesday.

Ordered a new pair of hinges (after replacing the lcd a few months ago I was really hoping to never have to open the top again) for my “old” laptop, got a nifty new skin for the new one and a keyboard cover (I know I am a dork).

Not looking forward to backing it up though and I have no idea where the restore cds are.

School is going well although being in this basic math class is killing me. Its an easy a, I just have to keep telling myself that. We learned how to measure a box on Friday…joy. And how to use a ruler, like count the spaces in the middle and not the ticks.

Saw bent last night and it was really good, also saw a few people that I hadnt seen in a month or two.

And with that I am off…night.

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Sara Graves- Martinez
sorry to hear that your support system isnt always supportive…. i think the way you are handling the situation is great though. i am glad school is going well. and it was nice to finaly hear from you… [lol] =]=]
Posted by ?SaRaMiChElLe?™ on February 1, 2009 – Sunday – 3:56 PM
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The person I call…

So today was…okay.

The downer of the day?

Ian spraying the bathroom spray (the citrus kind) in Hopes face. Ugh.
The major downer of the day?

Holding her down with a towel under her forcing her eyes open and putting syringes of water in them to flush them. I felt horrible doing it put I didnt want to risk her eyes getting hurt and you could tell he got her good in one of them. That and my thought process was the more she cried the better. But still.

She did end up feeling better though and about an hour later she decided it would be a good time to stand up on her own in the middle of the floor, not once but twice.

And I knew Boone would be SO proud so I had to call him and give him the news. He is constantly trying to get her to walk, its so freaking cute. Those two have quite the bond.

Past the horrific eye mess though we had a good day over all. I know in just a few months I am going to have a huge handful. I already do but its just going to get worse. Hope takes after me so much and I can see her punching Ian and straight on tackling him on a regular basis. They already roll around on the ground “wrestling”. I figure she will be over Ians weight in no time, she is just ten pounds away right now.

I keep warning him that for all the times he has picking on her when she is a baby that she will get him back big time in a few years.

And with that I am off. I need to start getting some decent sleep again.

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Sara Graves- Martinez
it sux… the things we have to do. the eye allergy meds. burn the kids eyes, but if i dont put them in they cant open their eyes in the moring and i have to try and clean them, and they dont like that either…

yeah, it sux… i know its hard

but yeah, just wait till she is walking lol, ian will have to start running… fast!!!

Posted by ?SaRaMiChElLe?™ on January 3, 2009 – Saturday – 10:44 AM

Very high school sounding

I have noticed that my blogs for the past month have been very lame. Sorry about that, I swear I will fix that after school is out. Its been a crazy month.

Hope turns one tomorrow, to think that last year at this moment Jason and I were at his friends house and thanks to the stairs plus a lone soft taco I went into labor. That night we came home I slept for maybe an hour then woke up with a contraction only to fall asleep again and wake up again…you get the picture.

At any rate she was born November 25th at 8:09pm, at home of course (wouldnt want it any other way). You know how awesome it is to shower in your own shower and sleep in your own bed a couple hours after you have the kid. So so SO much better then that horrible hospital shower and uncomfy bed. Ack.

And yes I did get a ribbon.

My internet is still doing bad things, my speed is slower then diapup. Seriously, cable internet here and I am connected at a slower speed then my parents dial up. Fing suddenlink.


Emergency rooms are…

So I leave comp illus. class today and head to math. Plop down on the floor and start playing a game on my phone. Within minutes mom calls and says she is heading to the emergency room, the doctor wouldnt see Ian because his temp was high and his stomach hurt.

So I leave math (which means I am going to have to drop that class, its just to much work for me at the moment) and head home to pick up mom and Ian and head to northwest.

For the first time ever I wanted to be back in Lubbock. Both hospitals there have childrens emergency rooms with hardly a wait. NOT the same here, uck uck UCK!

I show up to pick them up and Ian seems fine so I think its a waste of time taking him in but we went anyways. So after standing in line 45 minutes just to say we were there, mom swore up and down that since the doctors office called ahead of time that that would somehow get up in front of others. I told her thats not how emergency rooms works, we werent dining at Chilis after all, but she didnt believe me.

Anywho, the girl at the desk could tell I didnt want to be there and that I felt we were wasting peoples time so she took Ian right in to get a vital. 97.0…hows that for a temp. Seems that Ians was high (it was 101.8 at the doctors but they added 2, yes TWO whole points to that) but once they gave him motrin it was down within an hour. Why this wasnt done at home is beyond me but eh, my parents tend to freak out when it comes to such things and I suppose its better safe then sorry. Me on the otherhand, well, it takes a LOT to concern me.

Anywho, she takes the temp and sends us back to the waiting room with at least a 2 hour wait. I did NOT want to be there and told mom it was useless a few times. Thankfully the poor girl (probably 16-18) behind us that really was sick threw up all over the floor for mom to realize that we didnt need to be there (she also grasped why I freaked out when Ians blanket touched the floor).

So that was my day, completely thrown off because of this whole ordeal. Life would be a million times easier with Jason living here…

And on that note I have a project for comp ill that I should have finished tonight but thats not happening. No worries though, I will have it mounted and finised by wednesday! Promise!!!


Sara Graves- Martinez
oh juli!! i pray you do not get discouraged!! you are such a strong person… and you know it isnt going to be easy, and you are doing it anyway!! stay strong hon! all this WILL pay off in the end!!!!
Posted by ?SaRaMiChElLe?™ on September 30, 2008 – Tuesday – 7:58 AM
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Cheyenne aka Mommy
Ah yes, the joys of motherhood and single parenthood. I am so thankful Ian is not seriously ill. I am also glad to hear that you are staying strong through all of this. You are capable of greatness and your children see that. They appreciate, despite their inability to understand everything you do at this time, the sacrifice and devotion you have given to and for them. You will succeed at your schooling and succeed as a hard working mother for them. Congratulations to you for being the best mom you can be.
Posted by Cheyenne aka Mommy on September 30, 2008 – Tuesday – 9:11 AM
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Ah, another reason I’m glad I haven’t had kids yet lol. Those emergency rooms just creep me out, I hate the doctors.

I think there has been something travelling around lately, I want to walk around like the asians and just keep a doctors mask on. That way I could protect myself AND freak people out…I should just go full scale and do the whole gasmask thing *nod nod*

And that sucks about your math, if you need help I can try. Carol is far better than I am with that kind of stuff, but I’m sure either one of us would help if you needed it 😀

Have fun on your next biohazardous adventure 😀

Posted by Luke on September 30, 2008 – Tuesday – 12:48 PM
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Good bob

Glad the weekend is over. Cannibal is awesome, wish this city could grasp that not all theater is men in tights. People complain that this city it so boring (I have been guilty of saying it) but if you just LOOK you will find cool stuff. Seriously people, Amarillo isnt so bad afterall.

Ian came home sick again, fever was 101.3 (ear) about an hour ago. Which means he probably wont be going to daycare again. Dammit dammit dammit.

Hopefully next weekend will be better, I have the kids all weekend and wont be going anywhere. I am looking forward to it.

I am tired, drained emotionally and physically and just want to go curl up in bed and go to sleep. But homework is calling.

? Jøå??? ?
im sowwwyyy i couldnt come!!plz dont hurt me on tuesday…!!hahahaha
and sorryyy to hear that ure son is sick..hope he gets well sooooooooon!!!
c u on tuesday hope fully!
Posted by ? Jøå??? ? on September 29, 2008 – Monday – 1:33 AM
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Note to self…

Do not pass on info such as Ian calling me a tramp after visiting Jason to Boone.


Cheyenne aka Mommy
If people are saying such things to Ian about you that is so wrong. It is considered child abuse if coming from dad. Believe me, it is hard. My ex has my kids saying terrible things about me and my husband and it is finally coming out. It is hard to listen to but we have been approaching it positively, no matter how infuriating it can be. It is sick when a grown person has to use a child for their petty little bullshit games.
Posted by Cheyenne aka Mommy on August 26, 2008 – Tuesday – 7:32 AM
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therefore i am
I dont think that Jason was coaching Ian to say anything but the fact of the matter is is that he came home with a new word, a rude one, an directed it at me. I am calling him tonight and discussing it.

But Boone was so upset, probably more upset then me.

Posted by therefore i am on August 26, 2008 – Tuesday – 12:51 PM
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I dont love you

Stings huh? Especially when its from your childs mouth.

So Ian went to Jasons this weekend, something that I wasnt terribly happy about anyways. I dont think Jasons whorefriend should be graced with the presence of my children but its not up to me.

So Saturday I am feeding Hope and decide to call Jason to see how Ian did. One of the first things out of his mouth was that he didnt love me and that he didnt love Hope. To make everything even more peachy I hear whorefriend and Jason both laugh, not correct him but laugh. Joy.

After a bit Jason got back on the phone and asked about Hope. Never once has he asked about her. I guess he needs to keep up with his fake upstanding fatherhood when around his whorefriend and in order to do that he has to ask about his daughter…you know, the one I was pregnant with when him and whorefriend got together.

So I said shes fine, pulling up, saying mama, baba and occasionally Boone. He asked, right?

Then I got off the phone, took Hope in my bedroom with Boone and just cried. I dont want to hear Ian say he doesnt love me, even if he really doesnt mean it. I REALLY dont want to hear ANYONE snicker about it when he does. That right there tells you what type of people I get to deal with.

So today Ian comes home, the first thing out of his mouth is that he doesnt love me. That shit doesnt fly with me and I corrected him all while Jasons mother came up with excuse after excuse. You know, I really dont care that he told such and such that he doesnt love them. I correct him when he does it in my presence but they are not his mother, they arent the ones scrapping by emotionally because of what her piece of shit son did.

So they left and Ian came and sat in my lap and we talked. I went over how its not nice to say that he doesnt love someone. That its makes them sad, do you like it when you are sad? The stuff any sane adult would do in the situation.


The weekend was so lazy. Boone and I really didnt do a thing. Lounged around and talked for the most part. When we finally did roll out of bed on Saturday night we went to Malcolms for some dinner and while there Ang and Karen texted us to come to the bar.

We literally rolled out of bed and threw on clothes, I didnt even brush my hair, no makeup and wore ripped up jeans but hey, who cares? We said we would leave my midnight but other stuff happened and we stayed there till almost closing. Not a biggie though, I enjoyed myself.

All in all it was a wonderful weekend. Amazing highs and low lows but thankfully I have people around me that constantly reassure me and its nice.

Tomorrow I start school.

Here is to new beginnings…

I start school tomorrow too! Woot!

Ian wouldn’t let Sarah take him out of the car seat, tried to punch her, didn’t want to be in the house and told her to leave because it’s his house and she’s not welcome. That was before he went to Lubbock, but don’t take that as me blaming you or making excuses for what he said or anything. To be honest, we both were hoping he’d treat “whorefriend” just as good and that made us laugh. Hey, a guy can dream, right?

So…what’re you taking?

Posted by Matt on August 24, 2008 – Sunday – 10:50 PM
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i’m sorry, juli. that really stinks that it happened.
Posted by sarah on August 24, 2008 – Sunday – 11:32 PM
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Always Màthair

Sue Dooley
It is obvious that someone planted the idea in his little head. Does he truly understand the concept of what love is? That is the seed that needs to be planted. I will always love you, even when you say you don’t love me, because you are of my body and of my heart and soul. You are my blood and nothing will ever change that…
Having to switch trains like that has got to be hard on kids, and they only know what they are told and are so innocent because they don’t have life’s lessons to guide their heart and understanding.
They become confused in what role they play, or should play, and where is home anyhow?
Them laughing as they heard him say it to you is horrific to me and instigated! No one should have to deal with that game! Especially the innocent ones who don’t know better!
It is evil and so damaging!
Do your best to teach him what love is. Find some books his level that you can read to him so he can learn to understand. Take him on walks and show him the small things that are wonders in this world, the bugs, the flowers, monkeys at the zoo. Be creative to get his attention, like seeing the monkeys hug and groom each other, and explaining that they show their love by that. Any babies with their mothers is an easy one.
Keep your heart well, I don’t know what you are taking in school, but don’t let your focus go to the problems you are working around, you know what that will do!
It will be ok mom, your love can cover all things that attack you! Remember that!
Good luck in school old lady!
God bless
Posted by Always Màthair on August 25, 2008 – Monday – 11:51 AM
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Sara Graves- Martinez
that sux about ian =[….

what are you taking? lemme know how your first day went… that is if you have time

you are a busy school girl now=]=]=]

Posted by ?SaRaMiChElLe?™ on August 25, 2008 – Monday – 1:10 PM
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No, you cannot wash your butt with the frog.

The things that come out of your mouth when you are a parent.

So tonight was bath night and its getting increasingly harder to bathe both kids at the same time. Hope practically jumps out of my arms to get to the floating toys. Ian stands up, sits down, stands up, sits down. Tonight he insisted on rinsing off with his frog rather then with a washrag, a frog which sprays water everywhere.

I have no idea what to do. They both love the water and love being in there with each other so I am not going to take that away but holy hell Hope moves a ton.

Before I get in the tub with Hope I wash Ians hair, well while I was washing his hair there she was, pulled up right next to me about to go head first into the water (its a big tub with a step). She mastered the steps at my parents yesterday and today crawled up and over the basket that holds her diapers in order to get into Ians house.

Shes just such a different baby then Ian was and its taking some getting used too.

Tomorrow Ian leaves for Lubbock (supposedly) and I am SO nervous and sad about it.

Always Màthair

Sue Dooley
Ahhh, bath time!!!
About two inches of water will do! Him being older I would think you could get him to help calm himself enough to let you get Hope hosed down. Maybe if you could start her first before he gets in? I can see the changes you will have to make as they get older still. Do they have a play pool for outside? Maybe that would help them understand that is for flinging frogs in water, and that bath time is more business than play.
It is amazing how different each little life presents itself! Definitely individual human entities we all are!
Can you imagine having sets of multiples!!!! Have you ever watched the family on tv that have 8 kids? It blows me away how they can be so organized! And all the different little people those kids are that they have to adjust themselves to.

I know you will do just fine what ever you do. And be possitive for Ian when he leaves, let him know you will still be there when he gets back! He may need that! I would! Don’t be sad. Enjoy HOpe while he is gone and think of something special to do when Ian gets home!!!
Let the Greater Spirit in your life handle him while he is gone…send him positive vibes and lots of love while he is away! It will be good for you, him and Hope =)
Be Strong!

Posted by Always Màthair on August 22, 2008 – Friday – 4:49 AM
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Sara Graves- Martinez
yes… i agree…. i have said somethings that i never thought i would=]=]=]
Posted by ?SaRaMiChElLe?™ on August 22, 2008 – Friday – 12:14 PM
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Its like Christmas, but better

Okay, for the past month Ian has been going to sleep on his own (like makes it to his BED). We do the nighttime good night hugs and kisses and I send him on his way (Hope is already asleep at that point). Wake up in the morning and he gets a sticker on his chart thats above his bed. We went to walmart a while back and he picked out all the “prizes”.

First he went to 5 and at 5 he got a viewfinder.
Then at 6 he got a cars car holder.
At 7 he got an indy whip.
And at 8 he got this (not sure why the price is so high, I found it on sale for 40 bucks).

To think that there was once a time when character kids toys really got on my nerves. Ian just loves cars, hey at least its not elmo, right?

V has a princess one that they always play in when we are at Boones house so I figured a cars one would be perfect for ours.

Its huge but I already knew that going into it and knew that I would need to move some things around for it to fit. The plan was for it to take up Ians regular spot for toys to help keep them out of the way and to keep Hope out of them (I will have to sew a special door to keep her out of the front part).

He is going to be so happy tomorrow, I have a million errands to run again and I dont think he is going to let mom leave my house to go to hers. 

But really, I am so proud of him. The first couple of weeks he fought it but this last week we forgot to put stickers up for 4 days and he didnt seem to mind. So yeah, yeah I “bribed” my kid to sleep with candy, stickers and toys. But hey, we all get sleep now which makes it a little easier around here.

I will have pics tomorrow.

The numerous errands are getting school supplies, buy my math book, new license, new social security cards for everyone and maybe a haircut to get off all these horrible split ends. Busy, busy, busy.

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Sara Graves- Martinez
yeah… i never like the idea of bribing with candy or food… but sometime you have to do something!! lol …congrats on everyone sleeping in their own bed!!
Posted by ?SaRaMiChElLe?™ on August 20, 2008 – Wednesday – 10:37 AM
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Sooo tired

The weekend is over, well officially it was yesterday but I am all screwy time wise. For the first time in a long time I will say that I am glad its over. Friday I did nothing, on purpose. I felt the need to be really freaking lazy. Saturday was my grandmas birthday then mom watched the kids while I went out.

Firstly to walmart to buy lots of ink and paper, then to Karens to get Ang and then to the spotted pony with Ang for a really quick drink (for her not me) and back to Karens for a few games of skipbo.

Back home to get Hope and then head out to Boones to work on the script. Okay, had I known what all was left in the venture of getting the script ready I would have forgone the Ang/Karen time and just went to his house to work on it.

Get there and the file is a word file that only opens in office word. Ack, go online to try to find a key to unlock it….no go. Just ended up downloading office 07 so I could fix it the next day.

Finally, at maybe the earliest, 4am we go to sleep. WAY to late, way way way to damn late. Hope wakes up at 7:30, feed her, then again at 9ish since Erics phone went off. I knew we had a lot to get done but dragging Boones ass out of bed when he has gotten little sleep is, well…impossible. So after a bit I tell him I am leaving, if he plans on coming then come on. He says V is not up yet and I didnt really care seeing as how my kids have been woken up numerous times to get him somewhere. So I leave, no biggie. If he comes he comes, its not my show nor my actors that need scripts.

Get home, feed Hope, but her down for a nap and myself down for one as well. Have a dream that Boone walks in at 10:45…uh, in reality he did. So I wake up to V playing in the living room and Boone working on the script.

Get out of bed, install office, pull up the script and hand it to him so he can finish editing it. It took forever to print, so long that he went to the theater with the printer to finish (but someone was kind enough to go and make the rest of the copies at kinkos). Drop him off, give Caleb a hug (waaaahhh, I am going to miss him) and head home.

Since it was Calebs last night in town I figured I wouldnt see Boone for a while but I didnt expect him to walk in after 5:30am. Dayum. Came in, talked, fell asleep, woke up, fell back asleep…woke up late for work, felt like shit because of the previous few days and well…he didnt go to work (big surprise).

We laid in bed way to long talking and once again were in a mad rush to get things printed for Cannibal. Took Ian to the theater where I had no patience with him (which makes me feel like total crap), typed up the schedule and printed it.


Way to much rushing for the weekend and the week isnt going to be any better. So we decided that Friday he is getting off of work (Ian will be gone), coming over and we are just lounging around the house and probably turning our cells off again (its refreshing not having a phone going off constantly). I cant wait for a day to actually relax.

Cheyenne aka Mommy
Wow, that was a lot in only a few short days. Hope you get the rest you need this weekend.
Posted by Cheyenne aka Mommy on August 19, 2008 – Tuesday – 7:42 AM
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