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I really need to start updating this again

And that might just happen since I figured out how to add new posts via my phone.

So anywho, its been a while. I have lived in the new house 3 months now and I love every minute of it. It took a bit of adjusting but I dont just sit on the couch and cry for no reason anymore. Thats rather nice. I am working on sorting everything from the old house and putting it in storage, that is a rather large task. But still, here is to new beginnings.

Ians doing better, I think this last round of medicine redo will probably be the final one. We also found out that he is allergic to all sorts of foods and once we realized this it was a major ah ha moment. Beef, turkey, pork and vanilla to name a few. lol But again, answers, we needed answers and we finally have some.

Ian missed a month and a half of school this year but still managed to get promoted into 1st grade. 🙂 Poor kid, so much crap has happened in the last 3 years but I think he is dealing with it pretty well.

Hope is being Hope. She is 2 and she is just like me. <3

I am turning 30 next month and its getting to me. And not in the “I am old” sense but in the I remember dads 30th birthday sense. I thought that was soooo old when I was 8. We are so partying it up though, 80s white trash style.

I lost my job at the tale end of last month. Lets just say, wheew…what a relief. Aside from the minor “oh crap” freak outs I am pretty much okay with it. I needed another job anyways. Terribly bored though.

Its even been well past a year now since being single and again, wheew, what a relief. Boone, one of the sweetest guys you could probably ever meet and I do miss him sometimes. But also, Boone, one of the biggest assholes you could probably ever meet and I DONT miss that side. I actually hate when we cross paths (which is very very rare) because I dont want to see the “bad” side, no one does. We were just on two total planets and whether or not he would ever admit to having loved me I can honestly say I loved him. I am glad that chapter of my past is closed and thats the last I plan to ever speak of it again.

Jason and I are still doing pretty good. I really wish he would get himself out of his pickle (or as he says, his black hole). I know he got himself into it and all but it doesnt exactly make it easy. The bitchy part of me wants he dumped and heartbroken like I was the realistic part of me just wants him to do some freaking growing and I know he cant do that with anyone attached.

Well that was random. I am not feel particularly anything at the moment but did figure out my phone app, yay. Man I miss these blogs.

So there I was, standing at the end of a long hallway.

It seemed much longer then it did years ago. And it was white, bright white, no carpet, no tan colored bricks, no leaking ceiling. “Go to the little gym” she said. I said okay and headed that way, the little gym, I know where that is. And I entered, it was familiar but not, it was bigger. Walls had been knocked down for actual seating, ha. After learning that I had a few minutes to waste I took a walk and yes, got a little teary eyed. I walked down halls that I had walked many times before, walked past the chemistry lab that we had caught on fire. The choir room that I had a faint memory of. Then on to the yearbook room that had boarded windows for years, boards are of course no longer there. Then past Mr. Herring’s old room, and that English teachers room that people dreaded. Past the principal’s office, up the stairs I had tripped over a few times. Then past the outside door to the portables where us girls once frolicked in the snow. Past Ms. Patton’s.  Then the end of the hall, the ramp down to the cafeteria was gone. And the windows that were once knocked out by friends were now sealed. No more hallway up to the shop, I think it now ends at where Ms. Barnes old room was, remember those over priced cookies? Ha.

So I turned around and took at turn at the hallway with the library. It was still there, not near as many books though. Across from that, remember the little area with trees and grass? Yeah that one, it looks like crap now. I made it to the end of that hall and made my way towards the band room. Carpets gone, now its just tiled floor and white walls. It looked the pretty much the same, I could see myself in that room. I suppose its where I spent a good deal of time. I wandered through the doors to see if the auditorium looked like. It hadnt been touched, it was tore up. Its a shame too. Walked down the aisle and turned to looked at the stage, I remember all the plays and concerts like yesterday.

Then I circled back around to the little gym, told Chris about what all had changed and how weird it was for me to be there. It was so freaking weird, its like part of my past, my so familiar past was just up and moved around. It was a stroll through memory lane that I needed. Even though it was completely different I could still see the halls crowded with people from years ago, I was a teenager again.

Chris took pictures of the staff while I wrote down all their names and positions, and a hand full are still there. We packed up and went across to the new high school to drop off some proofs. Walked down the hallway where all their panels are hung on the wall. Maybe it was because I have made the darn things, I dont know, but it was awesome seeing all the previous years seniors. We walked to the 98 panel and I pointed myself out, Chris said I looked different. Well yeah, its amazing what a marriage, 2 kids, a divorce and a heaping spoonful of depression can do to you. 11 years ago I never would have imagined my life as it is now.

So yeah, that was my day. It was cool. I took some picture with my phone…see….

The door at the end of the little gym is the door to the band room. The old room where debate was is no longer.

Had an appointment yesterday.

Everythings fine, babys great. S/he kept kicking while Shauna was trying to get the heart beat. I still havent gained or lost a pound but I have grown 7 inches in the waist.

Blood pressure was good 112/73, babes heart beat was between 155-160 bpm. I am right on the dot as far as fundal height is concerend (26 cm). No protein or sugars are spilling, all is good. I am happy. Next appointment is September 14th.

On the other hand, Ian has hand, foot and mouth disease. Not worried about it at all, its only on his hands and feet. No fever and he seems to be acting like his normal self.

Heading to Amarillo tomorrow for my grandmothers birthday party. Jason and Ian are staying home, so it will be just me.

So my Brother got married…

A few months ago. I have no idea who this girl is, how old she is or how they met. I gather that she lives over 3 hours from my brother (he is in jail). Well over the weekend mom gave me a letter that she sent to her, talking about how much she loves my brother and how she doesnt have any kids yet (ha, I think she got handed about 20 step kids when she married bubby) and how she would really want my mom to be involved with any children. Normally I would agree whole-heartedly but its my brother and…..well….my mom has been hurt 10 times over trying to be close to his kids (all different moms) and I am sure she is at the point of not wanting to try anymore. I don’t know, knowing her she will attempt to try. Anywho, in her letter she also stated that bubby was up for parole but denied and she asked if my mom could write a letter of appeal to the board. I doubt my mom will do it, for one she just had major surgery yesterday and has enough on her plate. Well at the end of the letter she asked for me and Nikki’s (Nikki is my sister) information so she could contact us. I know my mom, she wouldnt ever give out our info. So I emailed her so she knew that I had read the letter and so she had a way to contact me if she needs me. Yesterday I got a reply and in all honestly she comes across as younger than me and maybe not fully in the “know” about my brother. Well she asked me to write to the parole board as well and I have mixed feelings. I do not know the full reason why my brother is in jail, I know a lot of it has to do with child support but I don’t know the rest of it. So of course I will ask and hopefully I will get a straight and honest answer and not some sugar coated regurgitated bs. From there I will make my decision on whether or not I will write a letter. We will see how it goes.

Do you have your personal information posted for all to see?

It amazes me how people will go so far to post there full name, address and phone number on the internet. There is the local moms group that I look at and a few times the ladies have posted all of there information. The site is not a private site, anyone who wanted to could easily look up Sally So Dim and see she is a single mom of three, living at 123 Come Stalk Me Lane. Does that cross anyones mind of stepping over the line and giving a bit to much info? When I was pregnant and used to post on a site that I no longer look at it would amaze me how people would post their ultrasound pictures and not take off their name, doctors name, city and 9 times out of 10 their social security number. Duh! Recently Dateline NBC did a segment on teens and Myspace.com and they have a poll on THIS article.

Who should do more to safeguard teens’ online safety? * 5571 responses

Parents. They should be more tech savvy and responsibility
32 r> Web sites. MySpace.com and similar sites should have better monitoring
5 r>Both parents and the Web sites need to step up
50 r>None of the above. The threat isn’t as bad as it’s being reported.
13 r>
I voted Parents, I do not think it is the websites responsibility to safeguard its users anymore then they already do. It cant be more obvious then a font size of 18 in red. If the user chooses to look over it then they look over it.


January 20, 2006 – Friday 10:51 PM

Why is it that when growing up in the little old town of Amarillo that all I wanted was to be out. I absolutely hated the oober conservative atmosphere where if you were the least bit “different” you were not welcomed. I hated it. I always wondered why the people that made it out were always coming back. Now all I want is to go back.

I moved in 2003 to Provo, Ut and wow was it a shocker. 98 percent of the population is Mormon. That means no smoking, no drinking, no drugs, no cussing, little to no carbonated drinks, you must live with people of the same sex, you have a curfew….these were some of the bigger things (pretty much opposite of my previous self). It was an interesting experience and one that I would never take back but I dont think I could ever raise my children there.

Now we live in Lubbock, not all that far from Amarillo but I still feels like its a 14 hour drive sometimes. I have yet to find a like minded or even a minded person in this city (at least not one with boobs). Now I find myself wanting to go back “home” because that is where I belong. I realize now after years and years of wanting to “get out” that maybe its not such a bad place after all.

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