Practice in patience


So I called on Sunday, once, no answer. Called today, texted then called again and it went right to voicemail. Or did it? I think it got one ring in and then went to voicemail. Does this mean that he “ignored” the call or that it was off?
And I freaked out a bit but I seem to be calming myself down now. But I know for a fact that if I dont talk to him tomorrow that I will have some stupid nervous breakdown.
Right now I am telling myself that he hasnt had to work these past few days so he is more then likely toasted and not talking to anyone. But tomorrow he should be at work, therefore not toasted.
I dont know how to proceed here. I am trying to tell myself to give him distance because distance is what he wants. But at the same time I would like to see him. Should I schedule certain Jacob days? Would he even go for it?
And this whole fuck buddy thing it probably going to get to me sooner than later.
But its jacob and he isnt a fuck buddy type of person. Or is he?
I keep going over Friday night with him and at the time it was perfect but days later I am picking it apart. But no, it was great. He sang to me. He gave me a new years kiss. Aside from that I got wasted but he slept with me and held my hand all night and all day.
He cant possibly have zero feelings for me yet still want to hold me.
I just need another Jacob pick me up, a kiss and a hug and a giggle fest in bed.



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