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Why why why why why why why

One of these days I will get it through me thick head that Jason is not to be trusted one damn bit. How anyone would want anything to do with him is beyone me, what in the world is he telling people to keep them around. He is like that little turd in the toilet after you flush that keeps poping up (sorry, that made me laugh and I really need that).

So dumbass calls today talking to me as if nothing is wrong. Tells me he will take the early (short)bus here and will pick up the kids around noon. I say thats fine. Asks when I want Hope on Saturday and I asked if it was for the two hours I said I would watch her. He informs me that he is bringing her back on Saturday, that it is to hard to have both kids (boo fucking hoo). I said no he is taking both both nights like we have been doing for the past couple months and he tells me he only has to see her for 2 hours on Saturday. We got into it from that point on.

Anywho, it just further sinks in to me how much he doesnt want his daughter. I feel like some whore who has different baby daddys and is trying to get them to be a dad. Its hard to believe that I was happily married for years and that in order to get pregnant with Hope in the first place I had to go on fertility drugs for a few months. You would think he would want his daughter but he doesnt.

I am sure the story will get told that I am keeping him from her and I am sure some pathetic people around him will believe that.

You know its sad, many people out there want desperatly to have kids yet its losers like Jason that actually get that gift and stomp on it. He gives dads that want to be there a bad name and he is the type of person that drive people crazy that really want kids.

So now I get to deal with one child thats abandoned and one child that has major entitlement issues (JUST like his sperm donor).

He is so worthless and he is ugly (inside and out)…and he was bad in bed.

HA HA HA…. i almost didn’t see the last part…=] that was funny!!

sorry he sucks so bad!! maybe one day he will grow up!!

so how does he think you take care of two kids? does he think you have nanny or something????????

Posted by ?SaRaMiChElLe?™ on August 7, 2008 – Thursday – 12:13 AM
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Cheyenne aka Mommy
I know what you mean about Jason, believe me. It is sad but I am sure the kids know you are an excellent mother and they love you for all that you do for them. Keep fighting girl. He will get what he deserves someday…and then he will regret his decisions. 🙂 Loved your last little point there. Great one.
Posted by Cheyenne aka Mommy on August 7, 2008 – Thursday – 7:22 AM
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I want kids, not yours, but kids. Jason’s strange. I don’t think he doesn’t want Hope, but he gets overdramatic about things. Maybe since he has SOOOOO much going on right now (sarcasm) he doesn’t feel like he has time to constantly monitor her, which is what you do with infants. Anyway, I’m not trying to take sides, I’m just trying to think like he does…and throw that out there. Woot. The last few paragraphs (last line) made me laugh ouot loud. LOL, hahaha, LOL, I’m so internet tech. n00b.
Posted by Matt on August 7, 2008 – Thursday – 11:47 AM
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Always Màthair

Sue Dooley
well…I don’t know, but I was thinking if you are concerned of what impression he maybe giving others that you could use your blogs to show what you have been personally dealing with to someone…I don’t know what you want from the divorce, wether you want him to have an amount of custody and visitation, or if you want him out of the picture and child support. I know you said he is filing, but you need to be protected too. It sounds like there is going to be drama between you all for a very long time like this. I am sure it stresses the kids when they are separated since it sounds like they have become very attached to each other. Ian is not the blind child anymore, he is older and sees what is going on, making things harder for him to deal with, the back and forth, the rejection(be it real or just heart felt).
Don’t give in to the mans excuses anymore! And don’t force the kids to see him if they don’t want to. If the experience they are being subjected to is not a positive one it will only scar them more. And try not to show your disapointment, anger and resentment toward him, especially in front of the babies.
Don’t try to figure out why…it doesn’t matter, and you have the power to make the choices in these childrens lives untill they can make their own. Two hours? If he can’t make it something special, why bother. And I would give Ian that same choice.
But that is me Julie! Harley was always my child, my blood my heart and soul of what I wanted from life as a child myself, and and I made it the best I could for him, I gave him myself, always there for him, always open and honest for him, always supporting him in everything he did that I could possibly be a part of. This isn’t just for babies, but struggling teen years, young adult years…that one constant figure that a human growing in turmoil needs. It’s for life, to the end and beyond the grave as far as I am concerned.
For your children, YOU make it the best, positive and enlightening experience on this planet that you can! You won’t regret it! That’s what is important! That they know they have at least one constant connection through their life that will be honest, caring , loving and protective that they can run to no matter what! It gets easier as they grow, when they can intertain themselves, then it gets hard again when they don’t have the answers they need to lifes problems…but this is what it is to be a parent, and you grow right along with them!
I hope you can start to see the better side of being “mom” and not so much the short side off…the donor. We learn by our mistakes, and we go forward. Keep going forward Julie! The best of your life hasn’t happened yet believe it or not!
I wish nothing but the greatest in your life journey and for your children! May there be much happiness in each step you all take!

We are all blessed, sometimes we just don’t see it through the heat and humidity.
I hope nothing I have said offends you in anway! I never intend to bring harm when I start writing books!

Posted by Always Màthair on August 10, 2008 – Sunday – 4:23 PM
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