So I go in and get Hope from her nap today to discover that she has stripped her diaper off. 7 months old and she has already figured that part out. She is already impossible to change, she flips over and crawls away as soon as she is put on her back. She is progressing right along, sitting up, saying mama and trying to mimic anything else that she can (including coughs and sneezes).
Ians doing great. He cleaned up the living room tonight with no arguments at all. He is even putting himself to sleep. Well he almost is, I give him and hug and a kiss goodnight and tell him to go lay down and he makes it about halfway (meaning the bathroom) and lays down and goes to sleep. So after 30 minutes or so I pick him up and lay him down in bed. The goal of course is to get him to lay down IN his bed and fall asleep but its baby steps. And no, I dont feel the least bit bad or guilty that he falls asleep on the floor, it was alway my favorite sleeping spot when I was a kid.
So the divorce is in just a few days and I am a bag of mixed emotions. To hear that its over, officially (as in now I check a different box) over is going to be hard as hell. I know its over, part of me knows it was over from the moment we said “I do” but the other part of me still loves him and I know that I always will but just in a different way.
I feel like the hate, frustration, jealousy, loneliness, depression, grief, anxiety, bitterness that I have felt since October will finally have a chance to be laid to rest. But at the same time the joyful, happy, loving, outgoing Juli is finally getting herself back with the help of awesome friends and family.
So right now life is good…no wait, its awesome.
Yeah, so I went to move Ian from the floor to the bed and he had already done it. Awe.
|Cheyenne aka Mommy